May 2013
9 posts
natured:
I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
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April 2013
22 posts
noire-pandora:
I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.
“Where does a thought go when it’s forgotten?”
– Sigmund Freud (via ckgarden)
If you ever see acronyms on your dash, and don't...
TMI: That's My Igloo! (It's kind of like MTV Cribs, except with igloos)
PJO: Please, Just Ovulate! (Where husbands and wives discuss having kids)
HP: Hot Pockets (people just REALLY love these)
SPN: Shakespearian Porn Novels (in which scholars find the hidden innuendo's in Wililam's classic plays)
THG: The Hottest Goat (it's a reality tv show that people are really into these days)
DW: Dinkleberg Weekly (a spinoff series in which Timmy's dad complain's about Dinkleberg's mischievous week)
TID: This Is Dubstep (A show that analyzes the most painful music: dubstep)
TFIOS: The Fry Is On Saturn (a game show where they hide a french fry somewhere in the solar system and contestants race to find it first. the winner gets to eat the fry. They use "Saturn" in the title, because that was the location of the original fry)
“Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and...”
– Kate Nash’s advice to college students (via morganmarguerite)
gayerthanjew:
i feel my american-bred sense of entitlement the most when i get annoyed that the ‘united states’ is sorted in alphabetical order on a drop down menu and not just listed at the top
fightthewhispers:
Sorry about my belly pooch, that’s just where I like to keep my organs.
March 2013
12 posts
imorb:
how do snakes have sex
i mean they’re
fuckin
noodles
February 2013
165 posts
Everyone: Are you okay
Everyone: You look tired
Everyone: You look upset
Everyone: You look confused
Everyone: Are you mad at me
Everyone: What are you mad at
Me: IT'S MY FACE
welcome-to-the-initiative:
greeneyedlioness:
SO I JUST WENT OUTSIDE AND SCREAMED “OBAMA!!!!!”
BECAUSE I’M OVERWHELMED WITH FEELS
AND IN THE DISTANCE, ALL I HEAR IS A GUY SHOUT BACK
“MICHELLE?”
Is this my potential soul mate? Or a creeper in the night?
It’s so easy to get those two things muddled sometimes.
